Coming Home
by A Chocolate Frog
Summary: Set immediately after "Spoils of War" (episode 5x19). Kensi's been through a lot in the past several days, but coming home isn't going to be easy. Deeks just wants to see his friend and partner get better. What can he do to help her? Rated T for various allusions.


_Look at me, branching out and writing new things. I'm so obsessed with Kensi and Deeks right now. They might just be my OTP. _

_I know Deeks said in "Windfall" (episode 5x20) that he and Kensi hadn't had much time to talk since they'd gotten back, so maybe that makes this story slightly AU. But I was already almost finished with it, so I just kept going with my original plan. Hope you enjoy my first NCIS:LA fic!_

_**~Coming Home~**_

Marty Deeks was awakened by an odd feeling in his left arm. He tried to move the arm and realized that it was totally asleep. Something was pressing him into the wall behind him. Opening his eyes, he looked down and realized that his partner, Kensi, was still resting against his chest, sound asleep.

Carefully, he pushed away from the wall of the military transport plane they were on and settled into a more comfortable position, his arm now tingling painfully. Kensi didn't wake; he could still feel her warm breath through his T-shirt.

Deeks glanced across the aisle and saw that Callen was also sleeping, but Sam was reading a book.

"How long was I out?" Deeks asked.

Sam shrugged. "A couple of hours. Maybe two and a half."

"So that means Kensi's been asleep for almost four."

"You gonna wake her up?" Sam asked.

Deeks nodded. "I really hate to, but the doctor at the compound said she shouldn't sleep more than four hours at a time right now, because of her concussion. And also, I kind of need to get up and pee."

Sam chuckled. "Okay. Please wake her up and go take care of your business."

Deeks looked down at the sleeping figure, resisting the urge to press his lips to her dark hair. He didn't want to shake her, because he knew that much of her body was bruised and sore from the abuses inflicted by her insurgent captors.

"Kensi...Hey, Kensi," he said softly, and she stirred, relieving his silent fear that her head injury might have gotten worse over the past several hours.

"Kensi," he said again, running his hand gently over the fabric covering her upper arm. "Wake up. You need to wake up now."

Her eyes fluttered open, but she stayed still for a moment, as if trying to get her bearings. "Are we there yet?" she asked, moving slowly into an upright position and wincing as she did so.

"Not yet," Sam informed her. "But we're getting close. Only a few more hours."

"How do you feel?" Deeks asked her.

Kensi gingerly rolled her head from side to side and shrugged her shoulders a couple of times, testing out her muscles. "Everything hurts," she sighed. "And sitting on a plane for fifteen hours isn't helping."

"Get up and stretch your legs a little," Deeks suggested. "I am going to stretch my legs on the way to the back of the plane. But I'll be back in a minute," he promised, and his heart swelled when she smiled at him.

Though he tried to appear utterly nonchalant, Deeks rushed through his trip to the bathroom, even though he knew that Sam was available to help Kensi if she had any sort of problem. After not knowing exactly where his partner was for the past several months and then spending the last couple of days on a harrowing mission to rescue her from enemy forces, he didn't want to let her out of his sight.

When he returned to the main section of the plane, Kensi was slowly pacing up and down the aisle. Deeks took his seat again, and then Kensi decided to visit the restroom herself.

"She'll be back in just a minute, you know. There's nowhere she can disappear to," Sam said, a hint of amusement in his voice, and as Deeks turned to look at his friend, he realized he had watched Kensi all the way down the plane and had been staring expectantly at the bathroom door.

"I know," Deeks said, feeling his face grow warm. "I'm being dumb. But I was just so worried we had lost her, and now that we've got her back, I..." He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

Sam smiled. "I know. Me too."

Seven minutes later, Kensi had not returned.

"Do you think she's okay?" Deeks asked, fighting the urge to get up and check on her. "She's been gone an awfully long time, even for a girl."

Sam had returned to his book, and he spoke without looking up. "What could have happened? We'd have heard a noise if she passed out or something. I'm sure she's fine."

Deeks tapped his fingers nervously against his knee. He would run through the lyrics to "Here Comes the Sun" in his head, and if she hadn't returned by the end of the approximately three-minute song –

The bathroom door opened, and Kensi appeared, limping slightly as she made her way back to her seat.

As she sat down beside Deeks, he noticed that her eyes were red. He tried to smile without revealing his concern. "All right?"

She nodded and then glanced from him to Sam and back again. "Do you think Hetty will be waiting for us when we land?"

"I'd stake my life on it," Sam said, turning another page.

"Yeah," Kensi said, her voice quavering a little. "Of course. Dumb question."

"Do you want to see Hetty?" Sam asked, looking up this time. "Or not?"

Her eyes filled as she shook her head. "I don't know," she said, her voice cracking.

Deeks slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "It's okay," he assured her, and she dissolved into tears. "Shh. It's okay."

"I'm – sorry," she sobbed into his chest. "I don't know why – I'm crying. I'm sorry I'm such – such a girl."

"You're not crying because you're a girl," Sam said emphatically, while Deeks stroked her hair in what he hoped was a comforting way. "You're crying because you've been through a trauma."

"You only have so much control over your emotions right now," Deeks said. "Trust me, I've been there. But you helped me get through. You and Sam and Callen kept me going, and now we're going to be there for you, okay?"

Kensi sniffled and nodded.

"I can't tell you it will be easy," he continued, "because it won't. But you are one of the strongest people I've ever met, and I know you're going to be okay." He wrapped his other arm around her and hugged her tightly, resting his chin against her head.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I just – thank you."

"Don't even mention it," he murmured back, listening as her breathing began to return to normal. "Now," he said, leaning carefully around her to pull something from the pack by his feet. "What do you say to a fierce game of cards?"

He held up a deck bound by a rubber band, and Kensi laughed as she wiped away the last of her tears. "Why do they have kittens on them?"

He shrugged. "Why not? What do you want to play? Poker? Rummy? Crazy eights? Go fish?"

Kensi and Deeks played a few hands of rummy, all of which she won. Then Callen woke up, and Sam put down his book, and the four friends played euchre until they reached California airspace.

The last streaks of pink sunset were fading from the sky as the plane landed at Edwards Air Force Base. Deeks heard Kensi's breathing speed up as he stuffed the deck of cards back into his bag, and he nudged her knee with his own.

"It's going to be okay," he reminded her. "You don't have to talk to Hetty if you don't want to."

Kensi nodded and reached for her bag, but Callen, who was already on his feet, snatched it up and swung it over his shoulder.

"I've got it," he said. "You're still resting up."

"Thanks," she replied, obviously fighting the urge to argue, and Callen laughed.

"Man, am I glad to have you back," he said, pulling her into a quick hug as she stood up.

Callen led the way down the center of the plane, and Sam followed him.

"Deeks," Kensi said suddenly as he shouldered his pack, and he looked up to see tears in her eyes again.

"You're doing great," he assured her. "We're almost home."

She swallowed hard and nodded, then turned and limped toward the door of the plane.

Deeks kept an eye on her footing as she descended the stairs to the tarmac, but she had no trouble aside from moving rather slowly.

He could see Hetty standing about a hundred yards away, silhouetted against the lights of the base. Sam and Callen reached her, and she hugged each of them briefly, then strode forward to greet Kensi.

Kensi bent down to hug the tiny woman, and they exchanged a few words, too quiet for anyone else to hear. Kensi let go and limped away toward Callen and Sam, and then it was Deeks's turn to hug the boss.

"All right, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked softly.

"Yep," he replied, feeling anger crystallize within him at the thought of her sending Kensi on a mission doomed to fail, of her letting things go so terribly wrong before sending aid.

"I'm glad you're all home," Hetty said as Deeks straightened up.

"Me too," he replied, and he brushed past her toward the others.

"They've got a van that'll take us back to headquarters to get our cars," Sam said, nodding toward a man dressed in fatigues who was standing nearby.

"I can drive you home," Deeks told Kensi.

"Just a moment, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said, approaching the group. "Ms. Blye, I spoke with the medical team that took care of you in Afghanistan, and they want you to be seen by a doctor here. I made an appointment with a navy physician for you tomorrow morning at nine-thirty."

"I'm not supposed to drive – my concussion," Kensi said, looking totally exhausted now that her feet were back on U.S. soil.

"I'll take you," Deeks spoke up, and then glanced at Hetty. "If I can have the morning off work, that is."

Hetty nodded. "Absolutely. I think you all have earned yourselves a day of rest. Mr. Deeks, Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna, I will see you the day after tomorrow. Ms. Blye, I'll see you when you're feeling better."

"Thanks, Hetty," said Sam. He nodded to the others. "Come on. Let's go home."

-.-.-.-.-

"Are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself?" Deeks asked as he parked in the lot of Kensi's apartment building around eleven o'clock.

She nodded. "I'll be fine. I'm just going to take a shower and go straight to bed. But thank you. Thanks for everything."

"What are partners for?" he quipped. "But seriously, I'm going to be expecting your call. I'm setting my alarm for 4:15 AM, and if you haven't called me yet, I'm calling you to make sure you wake up okay. And of course, call me if you need anything else too."

He carried her bag up to her apartment, and they exchanged one final hug before she disappeared inside.

"She's going to be fine," he said aloud as he returned to his car. "No insurgents, no guns, no secret missions. Just dust bunnies and houseflies." Then he smiled to himself, realizing that "Dust Bunnies and Houseflies" would be an interesting name for a band.

-.-.-.-.-

Deeks awoke with a start when his phone rang, jolting him out of a dream in which he, Kensi, Callen, and Sam had been running through a forest of licorice, trying to escape a giant bird bearing an uncanny resemblance to Owen Granger.

Groping for his phone, he noticed that the clock read 3:30. It was too early for Kensi's concussion-mandated check-in.

"Hello?" he said earnestly.

"Deeks," Kensi said, sounding tearful. "I'm sorry. I'm okay. But my head really hurts, and I can't sleep, and I – I really don't want to be alone right now. I'm sorry," she said again.

He smiled into the phone. "It's fine, Kens. I'm glad you called. Let me grab a change of clothes for the morning, and I'm on my way. I'll be there in twenty minutes, okay?"

She sniffled. "Okay. You're the best, you know?"

He grinned. "I know."

True to his word, Deeks knocked on Kensi's door twenty minutes later. She looked utterly exhausted when she answered it, wearing purple plaid pajama bottoms and a black T-shirt. A dark bruise peeked out from beneath her left sleeve.

"Hey," she said, smiling sadly as he stifled a yawn. "I'm sorry for making you come all the way back here."

He stepped forward, and she moved back to let him in. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be. I promise." He caught her hand and squeezed it, and she squeezed back for a moment before limping over to the couch.

"Have you slept at all?" Deeks asked, dropping onto the couch beside her, shaking both her and the cushions. She immediately clapped her hand to her forehead in pain. "Shit," he sighed. "I'm sorry. That was stupid of me."

"It's okay," she sighed back. "No, I haven't slept at all. I got in bed, and my mind just started racing. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened when I was – you know. And I just started to feel so alone."

"You're not alone anymore," he reminded her. "Do you want to talk about anything?"

"No, I just want to sleep," she said. "My head hurts so damn much, and I took the last Tylenol they gave me before we left Afghanistan. I only have Advil, and I'm not supposed to take that right now."

"Do you want me to go get some? There's a twenty-four-hour pharmacy a couple of blocks from here –"

"No. I just want to sleep," she repeated. "I thought maybe I could fall asleep with you here to distract me. Make my brain settle down."

"So, what? You think you'll fall asleep if you just listen to me talk or something?" Deeks couldn't keep the amusement from his voice.

Kensi grinned as she tucked her legs up beside her. "Just like being on the job together."

He shook his head and gave a low whistle. "Wow. Did they say if becoming meaner was one of the side effects of a concussion?"

She pulled a woven blanket from the back of the couch and spread it over their laps. "I'm gone a few months and suddenly you can't handle my snappy responses anymore?" She leaned her head back against the cushions and looked over at him.

Deeks copied her, his face inches from hers. "I have missed your snappy responses _so_ much."

She smiled but said nothing, turning her face up to the ceiling and adjusting her position so their shoulders rested against each other.

"What do you want me to talk about?" he asked, picking a fragment of lint from the blanket.

She yawned. "I don't know. What have you guys been up to while I've been gone?"

He yawned too. "Well, we've had some interesting cases. We tailed the Yakuza for a while. Oh, and Eric spent the night in jail!"

"Really? Okay, you've got to tell me about that."

Deeks rambled on about cases they had worked, Callen's new girlfriend, and his dog Monty's recent antics. At first, Kensi made comments about his tales, but her responses became fewer and quieter until at last she fell asleep. He listened to her steady breathing for a few minutes to make sure she was fully out, then he turned his head and finally allowed himself to press his lips to her hair.

"I'm so glad you're home, Kens," he whispered. "So glad."

Then he yawned and closed his eyes, and within minutes, he was asleep too.

-.-.-.-.-

The April air was still slightly chilly, but the sun was shining, and it looked like it was going to be another beautiful day in Los Angeles.

Deeks pushed the door of the bakery open with his hip, carefully balancing a box of cinnamon rolls on top of two carry-out cups of coffee. He had showered and dressed before waking Kensi, and once she had disappeared into the bathroom, he poked around her kitchen a little bit and discovered she had basically no food, which was unsurprising when he remembered she'd been gone for months.

He managed to get the pastries and coffee into the car without dumping anything, and he swung by a pharmacy to pick up some Tylenol on the way back to Kensi's place.

"Breakfast is served!" he called as he entered.

She was standing beside her small kitchen table, holding the note he had scrawled to let her know where he had gone. Her long hair was damp, leaving a wet spot on the shoulder of her pink T-shirt.

"Harmon's!" she said, reading the name of the bakery on the side of the pastry box. "Did you get the cinnamon rolls?"

He grinned. "Of course. And I got almond milk in your coffee."

Kensi shook her head in amazement. "And the Best Partner of the Year Award goes to Detective Marty Deeks."

He shrugged and busied himself with arranging the food on the counter. He loved hearing her say his first name, but it happened so rarely that it usually caught him off guard. "I do what I can. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Better," she said. "My bruises look even worse, but they don't hurt as much, and the stitches in my forehead are starting to itch, which is really obnoxious but probably a good sign. My head still hurts some, but it kind of comes and goes anyways."

"Oh!" Deeks said, suddenly remembering what was in his pocket. He pulled out a plastic bottle and held it up. "I got you some Tylenol."

"God," she said, taking it from him. "You thought of everything, didn't you?" She sniffled and turned away as her eyes filled with tears. "I totally don't deserve you."

"You were tortured in a cave by Afghan terrorists. I think cinnamon rolls and Tylenol are the least of what you deserve." He stepped forward and put his hand on her elbow, and after a moment, she looked up at him. The bruise on the right side of her jaw had become more prominent overnight. Her damp hair smelled of coconut shampoo.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, blinking rapidly, but a tear escaped down her cheek anyway. She hurriedly brushed it away. "I will get myself pulled together." The statement sounded more like a promise to herself than a promise to him.

"Don't apologize to me," Deeks said. "You should be apologizing to the warm, sweet, gooey breakfast pastries." He picked up the box from the bakery, opening and closing its lid like a mouth. "Listen to them. 'Eat me! Eat me, Kensi!'"

She laughed and reached her hand into the box. "You are ridiculous."

He snapped the cardboard lid down against her wrist and then let it up. "Now, now, Boxy," he said sternly. "Be nice. She tells me I'm ridiculous all the time. I've gotten used to it, and it doesn't bother me anymore."

Kensi shook her head and grinned as she raised an enormous cinnamon roll to her lips. "I should have appreciated my five-month break from you while I had it."

-.-.-.-.-

"So, what did the doctor say?" Deeks asked, leaning over the table as sauce dripped from his Double-Double cheeseburger.

"I can sleep normally again," she said, stirring her Animal Style fries with a fork so they were evenly coated with cheese and sauce. "So don't be expecting my call at four A.M. I can start driving tomorrow. They took a couple of X-rays, and the swelling is going down exactly like it should be."

"That's good," he said, nodding. "Do you know when you get to come back to work?"

"It's mostly up to me. Whenever I feel like I can run around and whatever again. I'm still really sore, but I'm hoping I'll be feeling normal again in a few days," Kensi said. She paused for a forkful of fries. "But of course I have to talk to Nate first. I have to call him and make an appointment. I'm really not looking forward to it."

Deeks nodded. "I know. It sucks having to talk to a shrink, because you just keep wondering if there's more wrong with you than what you're already aware of. But Nate's pretty cool. Hetty sent him to my place back in the fall, when I was having...issues." He sipped his milkshake. "You're already doing better than me, anyways. You're leaving your apartment and talking to people and everything."

"I just don't want to have to relive it all. The dumbest little things make me cry these days – obviously," she said, her voice growing thick again. "I really, really don't want to talk about what happened in Afghanistan. Too many feelings."

She absently balled a napkin in her fist. Deeks wanted to reach across the table and cover her hand with his own, but he restrained himself.

"There's no shame in being scared," he assured her. "Hell, I was terrified when Sidorov's guys had me tied up, and that was before they pulled out the drill."

Kensi shook her head. "It's not just that I was scared. It's also – well, what exactly are you supposed to feel when your boss sends you to kill a guy who turns out to be your ex-fiancé whom you haven't seen in nine years? That's not covered in any of the navy's training programs."

Deeks hoped he didn't look as surprised and confused as he felt. "Ex-fiancé?"

She nodded. "Jack Simon. We were engaged nine years ago, but he was struggling with PTSD, and one day he just disappeared. No one ever heard from him, and I thought I'd never see him again. And then of all the possible targets in Afghanistan, it turns out he's the one that Hetty sent me after, and she did it because she knew I'd never take the shot. And then he showed up at the door of the cave where they were holding me, and I called out to him, and they beat him up. He might have gotten away if it weren't for me."

There were tears in her eyes again, but they hadn't spilled over.

"Kensi," Deeks said softly, "you can't blame yourself for that. It's not your fault. There were way too many variables in that situation to start playing the 'what if' game."

"I just – we were going to get married and start a life together, and then he up and disappeared. I never really got any closure, but I moved on. I thought I was over it. Him."

"But you're not." He had meant to ask a question, but the words came out as a statement.

Kensi closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against the heel of her hand. "I don't know. It's really hard to process those kinds of emotions while someone is throwing you to the ground and kicking you in the stomach."

Anger clutched at his chest; he bit his lip to keep himself from spitting out something that would do nothing to help the situation. He took a deep breath and said, "They didn't try to...?" He couldn't even get the words out.

"Rape me?" Kensi sighed. "No, thank God. They just beat Jack up to try to get information out of him, and when he wouldn't tell them anything useful, they beat me up to try to get him to talk."

Still scowling, Deeks wolfed down the last two bites of his hamburger and chewed fiercely.

Kensi swallowed another forkful of fries and then reached across the table to touch his hand.

"Look, Deeks," she said, "I know why you're taking such good care of me."

He shrugged. "You're my friend and my partner. I was afraid you were never coming home. Now I just want you to get healthy and feel safe so you can come back to work."

She smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. "You have been so sweet since I was rescued, and I haven't forgotten that you were the one who kidnapped an old man, found a helicopter, and arranged the prisoner swap. Since then, you've gone above and beyond just being a friend.

"I had to leave right as we were trying to figure things out – if we could make _us_ work – and I wasn't happy about it." She squeezed his hand until he lifted his eyes to meet hers. "I still have feelings for you too. I just also have a lot of other feelings right now, ones that are very frustrating and confusing, and it'll be better for both of us if I spend some time trying to sort those out."

He nodded. "I know. I'll be right here, whenever you're ready."

"Thank you."

Deeks waited a beat, then wadded up his napkin and the wrapper for his sandwich and squished them into his empty milkshake cup. "Do you want to get some groceries before heading home?"

She nodded, yawning. "That would be great. And then I'm going to take a nap. I suddenly feel like I only slept four hours last night."

They disposed of their trash and headed back out to Deeks's car. Kensi seemed unusually pensive as she buckled her seatbelt.

"Deeks," she said as he started the engine, and he turned to look at her, his hand on the gear shift.

"Yeah?"

"I – I just wanted you to know that I did what you did. When you were being tortured? When they were hitting me and kicking me, I just focused on you. I thought about that first time you kissed me, and the night that we..." She swallowed. "And I thought about whatever goofy thing you were going to say when I saw you again. And it helped."

"Good," he said. "I'm glad." He paused. "But listen, let's just avoid having to do anything like that for a while, okay? No more captured-and-tortured scenarios for either of us. I like having us both here in one piece, so let's keep it that way. Deal?"

Kensi smiled. "Deal."

_-.-.-.-.-_

_Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think. _

_-A Chocolate Frog_


End file.
